Roman Holiday Realization

Princess Ann: At midnight, I'll turn into a pumpkin and drive away in my glass slipper. 

Joe Bradley: And that will be the end of the fairy tale. 

i am fund of the idea about the tragedy of things... the fall of grace... the notion that all things are doomed, that we are born alone... and will die alone... but the journey in between from life to death is grandiose!

one of my all time favorite movies is "Roman Holiday" for me it encompasses the whole fragility of the human condition... that nothing lasts forever, no good thing in particular... in the end we all loose a "happy ending" so to speak. that life is never a fairy tale that we should live life at the fullest at each passing moment for tomorow it may be the end of a dream.

Today i went to the mall on a saturday, not my favorite thing to do but i had to buy some stuff and ran some errands along the way. Anyone who knows what a mall is has the general idea of a flock of people gathering toward the same path, walking towards the same destination, with no apparent direction, a mob mentality so to speak. With one common goal. To satisfy their material needs or just to be seen in their best sunday dress! I, who am innately mutinous to the idea of what society perceives a person to be, walked against the flow of the mob passing by people face to face rather than seeing their back sides and following a leader w/c no one person can single out. Naturally i had a lot of evil stares and weird glances from the typical drones that come pass by me. All this while the only thought that came rushing trough my head as i watched the countless waves of drones ebbing away from me and swelling towards me, was the sudden realization that i don't want to be a part of that swell. I don't want to be a part of that synchronized lifestyle of these mall brazen people... Then like a shot right trough to the back of you, or a truck blind siding you in a monday afternoon. I, all at once became aware of the fact that tho i was with a hundred people under one roof... i was alone....

Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn new that the love that they had was doomed. That they can never be. And thats what adds the beauty of it. That each passing moment had more value imbibed on it, we count minutes or hours rather than seconds. We don't find value in the infinitesimal form of measurement. We use meters instead of micrometers because we don't find value in a millisecond. To us a microsecond is nothing tho to an insect a millisecond can be an eternity. To us a year is along time but for the universe a year is diddly-squat... It is difficult to wait on measured time, but its with a persons point of view on such matters that he can change everything. 

Today because of what happened in the mall I have decided to measure moments by the second, I have decided to use my left hand from time to time, on things I normally do with my right, today I have decided to count the steps I make from the place I came from to the place I'm headed. Today I have made a  decision to make a conscious choice on everything I do rather than doing it because its what I have been accustomed to. This reminds me of a story I once read way back it was about an old man who went to see a psychologist for his bad habit of sucking on his thumb. The psychologist told him that each time he had the urge to suck on his thumb he should choose another finger besides the thumb and after a few weeks he returned to his psychologist dumbfounded but cured! Soon he asked his doctor what he had done to cure him to which the doctor replied "... each time you had the urge to suck your thumb, you did not do it right away, you had to make a conscious effort to make a choice, sooner or later you realized that making that choice was not worth the effort at all and the habit was broken..." Today i have decided that i won't only do things because of habit. For in the end, I don't want to realize (like i did at the mall today) that i had lived my life as a drone forced by habit...